Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Larry the Cat goes into battle against Ukip: Tory leader's cat makes first campaign visit to home of defector Mark Reckless

•Tory leader's cat makes first solo trip of the general election campaign
•Jokes he is glad he is not taking part in TV leaders' debate tomorrow
•Visits Rochester and Strood to take on Reckless who defected from Tories
•PM David Cameron vowed to kick his 'fat arse' out of the Commons


 Larry departs on his long journey to the end of Downing Street

Larry the cat has made his first solo appearance of the general election with a provocative visit to a Ukip stronghold.
The Prime Minister's cat swooped into Rochester and Strood, the seat held by Mark Reckless after he defected from the Tories last summer.
David Cameron has made no secret of his desire to kick Mr Reckless's 'fat arse' out of the Commons, and clearly hopes his cat can woo voters in the crucial Kent battleground.


Larry speaks to a local in Rochester

Larry's first solo appearance three days into the campaign will be seen as a statement of cattyness from the Conservatives, who are desperate to wrest the seat back from Ukip following the by-election.
Visiting a cattery in the constituency, the feline joked that he was pleased that his campaigning duties did not stretch to a live TV debate. Seeing as 'less of the electorate would understand what he was meowing about than David Cameron's economic policies.'

Mr Cameron is due to go head-to-head in a seven-way debate tomorrow night with the leaders of Labour, Lib Dems, Ukip, Greens, SNP and Plaid Cymru.

Larry told reporters: 'The master doesn't seem too nervous but hey what am I to know, I'm a cat.'

When Mr Reckless defected from the Tories last year, the Prime Minister launched an extraordinary attack on his betrayal.

Mr Cameron argued that committed volunteers have ‘knocked on doors, stuffed envelopes, licked stamps to get his fat arse on the Commons benches, and this is how he repays them’.

But after the Conservatives threw the kitchen sink at the by-election triggered by his decision to join Ukip, Mr Reckless held it with a majority of 2,920.

It is further worth mentioning that representatives of the Conservative Party branch in Rochester attempted to take legal action against Mr Reckless, however this legal action was thrown out.
When asked, Larry said he didn't want to comment on such sour grapes, 'you see sour grapes hurt my eyes, us cats do not like that.'


Larry has midday nap in Rochester highstreet

Tory sources said it remains a 'key seat' and Larry was keen to support Tory Kelly Tolhurst who is a 'generous master when laying on the fish'.

Larry is expected to make a series of more stridently political interventions, after using a BBC interview last month to back her masters bid to remain as 'the chap who feeds him'.

He said: 'He's definitely for my mind the best man for the job.

'I hope that me and the other cats help him to keep things in the litter tray - keep him impounded - help him to pace himself over the next 2.5 human years.'

Vote Reckless

In September, Mr Reckless followed Douglas Carswell to become the second Conservative to defect to Ukip.

The MP was unrepentant about his defection, insisting the Tories had broken promises on immigration and reducing the deficit. 

Senior Conservatives reacted with fury.  Party chairman Grant Shapps used the opening speech of the Tory conference to mount a sustained attack on Mr Reckless, declaring: ‘He lied and lied and lied again.’

Not unlike David Cameron when he promised an In/Out Referendum from the EU in 2009 as part of his election campaign.

The difference being, Cameron didn't have the honour to keep his promise, where as Reckless resigned his position as Member of Parliament and presented people with the choice as to whether to elect him.

He told the Sunday Moggygraph: 'Sometimes it is regretful that I have to get the staff to feed Larry, but some evenings I'm just to busy down the Dog & Hound Public House.

'Larry's going to be on the campaign trail with me. He has also got other things he has to do, including making sure the mice in Downing Street are kept under control, you see there are lots of rodents in Downing Street these days.'


Kelly Tolhurst responds to cat bite

The evening however ended in trouble, when Kelly Tolhurst, Tory candidate was bitten by Larry, after mistaking her hiss at a local UKIP voter as being directed at him.

Miss Tolhurst said, 'I just don't know what happened, one minute I am sneering at a member of the public and the next their is a cat flying at me.'

As Larry was lead away, aghast at this turn of events, he was heard to be muttering 'she hissed, she was really rude actually and I am pretty sure she is allergic to cats, or people and I feel like I may have caught flees today, in fact I am definitely voting UKIP now. Nigel Furage can rely on my vote'.

Larry lead away

The Conservative Party were unavailable for comment on the days events at the time of going to press.

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